Summer is here, and in the Spring I began my quest to obtaining smooth
legs. You see winter was just a few months ago, and I sort of packed on a
few extra lbs. With extra weight one is bound to gain not just weight;
but cellulite comes with the package for free.
No good, how the hell am I going to get rid of this cellulite
in time for shorts and bathing suits? I was frantic when I noticed the
back of my legs had dimples. The dimples I couldn't see, nope. Not until
I did a twirl and caught myself in a mirror in an angle I don't really
look at. I was seeing bumps man, big ones man.Craters in my freakin' legs man. You see, the front looked okay, who knew I had a moon growing back there? Who knew!? Everyone but me that's who!
I wanted to get a knife and cut my fat, dammit! It snuck up so fast! Dammit it brought friends!
So I went on a diet, I did the only thing a fatty could do. I began
working out, and eating healthy. Yeah so my body is slimmer, but the
damn dimples, they refuse to leave. They've made a home on the back of
my thighs and it seems no matter how much I worked out they weren't
going anywhere.
I ordered almost everything and anything I could find that gave me
cellulite erasing promises. I even ordered a $50 bottle of formula, but
while that formula was coming in the mail, I needed a quick fixer upper,
a patch. Yup, thats right, I ran into Niveas good-bye cellulite patches
for $12.99 at a local CVS. My cousin was shopping with me, and she said
that 'Tyra Banks uses these, and she swore by them on her Tyra show!'
"Well hot diggity dawg! Tyra was fat a few months ago, and now...well
now she is skinny and cellulite free again. If Tyra says it works, than
it surely must work!"
The patches came in a box of 6. I didn't know how well 6 patches were
going to work, and the box itself was not that big. I wanted a body
patch, but whatever...I had to settle with what Nivea gave; 6.
These patches contain L-Carnitine, which is found naturally in the
skin and promotes the conversion of fat into energy. So hmm, does this
mean my skin is going to feel all energized and what not? Eh, who knows?
I was willing to try anything, besides Tyra said it's the good stuff.
Tyra wouldn't lie!
The box says that these patches will work best if you use Niveas Gel
Cream before applying the patch. Yet the box also states to apply to
clean dry skin!? Wait a frigging minute, which is it!? Clean dry
skin, or Gel Cream skin? Man, I was seeing a pattern, they were out for
more money, dammit! Now I was wondering if my $12.99 purchase was just a
gimmick. Sigh- most likely.
The box also states that the patches are for concentrated areas.
Basically this means find your dimple and stick the patch on it.
The patch is a white cotton, with a jelly like sticky bottom. It is
too large to unwrap the protective seal without having the patch fold
into itself. Annoying! I figured since the patch was so large, I would
cut it in half to save some, so thats what I did. The sticky side of the
patch didn't feel very sticky, and I honestly wondered how long it
would remain on my legs until the rolled down my pants embarrassing me
in front of others. It would of been really embarrassing seeing how
these patches remind me of a giant 'pad'.
APPLICATION:
I then applied the patch to the back of my clean dry legs. It was a
cool feeling at first, and within minutes it felt even colder. Whatever
it was it did feel like it was doing something, but it surely didn't
feel like it would do very much. I couldn't see how it would to be
honest.
After getting up and moving around the patch began to feel like it was slipping off.
After about 5 minutes of moving around sure enough the patches edges
began to fold up and stick to my pants, which in turn eventually led to
the patch detaching itself from my skin. Stupid flimsy thing!
I tried to re-stick it, but it didn't want to hold. So much for getting rid of cellulite.
The next of my patches I focused on the front of my thighs. They were
able to stick here easier simply because I was able to see what I was
doing, and was able to smooth it down easier. I used all of the patches
on the front of my thighs, when really I needed them for the back.
DIRECTIONS:
Apply 2-3 times a week to affected areas for up to 8 weeks. Leave
patch on for 8 hours. (Hah good luck having this hunk of junk sticking
to your skin for 8 hours...seriously, good luck! And good luck affording 8 weeks worth of patches).
DID IT WORK?
Actually yes, surprisingly after using the entire box in about a weeks
time, I was able to see smoother legs...but only in the rectangular
area where I had put the patch. So now I had a smooth rectangular shaped
area on my thighs. Crap! I needed an entire thigh wrap for this to be
fully effective.
After about a week though the cellulite was back in full bloom. So it
did smooth it over in the area the patch had been, but not the
surrounding areas. The cellulite also grew back. It was basically a
temporary illusion. Sigh.
WHERE TO FIND NIVEA CELLULITE PATCHES:
After reading this review I can't see why anyone would want to waste
their money on these crappy thigh pads. But in case you wanted to have a
look, you can find them at CVS and any local drug stores. I have not
come across them in any super stores like Walmart or Target yet though.
The price will probably be close to the same as what I spent. $12.99.
WHAT MADE IT SUCH A WASTEFUL PRODUCT:
1. Provided temporary smoothness
2. Costly
3. Only get 6 patches
4. Patches don't stick well to areas with bends
5. Patches are large and flimsy, and when trying to remove the
protection seal it causes the ends to stick together. This can ruin an
entire patch.
6. Only focuses on the area where applied. Formula does not effect surrounding areas.
OVERALL:
Nivea's body Good-bye Cellulite patches are a waste of money. They provide temporary results. Unless you can afford to buy box after box, don't even bother with it.
To sum this up I'd like to say 'Tyra, you suck! You suckered me
into buying this crap! I really believed you too! So how much did Nivea
pay you to promote this garbage?'
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