Jessica Simpson "Dessert Treats" Whipped Cream W/ Sprinkles - Review

I don't think a year goes by that someone does not wrap and gift up a product from the Jessica Simpson 'Dessert Treats' line for my birthday, for Christmas or for some other holiday that may pop up.
The reason I always seem to receive these Dessert Treats is that these piece of crap products are always on wholesale. No matter where I see them, they are on sale.
One of the nastiest 'Dessert Treats' in the collection has to be hands down, the bottle of whipped cream with sprinkles.
The can itself is a pink aerosol can that has a nozzle just like any hair mouse would. Perhaps it is the nozzle that makes it gross....no scratch that, it's the whipped cream.
It comes in flavors whipped cream normally does not come in. In this line you can choose from banana split, lolli pop, cotton candy, bubble gum, butterscotch, and creamsicle.
The one I received was cotton candy. On top of the can of whipped cream you get a complimentary shaker can of round mini sprinkles.
How to use it:
This 'Dessert Treats' line is made for two. It sort of endorses sex to kids... odd that Jessica would want any part of such a line...but basically thats what it is for. You spray yourself, or your partner with whipped cream, add a dash of sprinkles and eat it off of them. Or if you are a loser eat it off of yourself.
I really am not into food in the bed, or food on my body for that matter. It's gross, it's sticky, and it's never any fun. However seeing how my boyfriend seemed excited by it, we went ahead and used it. Or tried to...
I wanted to of course test this cotton candy flavored whipped cream before using it. So I tipped the can upside down and squeezed some out. My first thought was shaving cream.
This Dessert Treats whipped cream looked nothing like whipped cream. Whipped cream is supposed to be thick, creamy, and fluffy.
The Cotton Candy whipped cream was thin, runny, and bubbly looking. I honestly did not even want to taste it...but for testing purposes I went ahead. I stuck out my tongue and dipped it into the small pile of whipped cream.
Uch, it stung my tongue. It tasted like goddamn shaving cream masked with some disgusting perfume. It was chemically, nasty, it was like flavored battery acid!
Overall:
I let my boyfriend try some, and he too could not see wanting to lick that crap up.
Recommendation:
If you are into licking food off of your partners body buy a real can of whipped cream and some sprinkles. The Jessica Simpson Dessert Treats Whipped Cream is nothing but nasty packed into a ozone destroyer.
If you happen to get this crap as a gift throw it out, and save the sprinkles for cupcakes.
Pricing and availability:
You can find Jessica Simpson Dessert Treats Whipped Cream in your local CVS or Eckerds. Odds are the price will be half off, and will cost you about $4.99.